Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
