i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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