Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
