He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
