dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
