he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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