I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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