now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
