we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
