Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
