He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
