So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Quick, to the slutcave!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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