i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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