We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
