have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
