I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
