did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
