Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
