perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
this is an emotional support booty call
Let's get the cat blown out
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
