I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
