I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
