Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
