if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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