just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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