hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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