Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize