Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize