Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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