I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just forgot I was standing up.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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