Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
