I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
