But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
