just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
