Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
