Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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