she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
