dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
