I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
