I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
