Yo dont text me then not text me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
