am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
