shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
