so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
