My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
