...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
