R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
