I am spending my child support on dildos
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
