Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
