In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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