so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
