I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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