He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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