So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
