HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
