You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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