Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we're making bets on your personal life
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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