I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
