Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
