Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
