I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
