my mouth tastes like poor choices
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize